Six-stringed Instruments and People Are Hard to Understand
by Space Mercutio
Summary: When Shard stumbles on Elias playing the guitar, he gets curious. After all, who knew the big guy played an instrument? However, Elias seems determined to clam up if the subject comes up at all. (Maybe it's a genetic thing.) Either way, Detective Shard is on the case!


I'm really starting to think I should go.

_That awkward moment when you've fought dozens of Metal Sonics and it can't prepare you for this. _I've stumbled upon the unthinkable, and while it doesn't look like it's going to kill me anytime soon, I really have the urge to leave.

"Oh. Uh…was I interrupting something?" I say, oh-so-casually. The words kinda just leave me. Highly advanced technology like you wouldn't believe and I can't control what I'm saying. If I could feel prickles, I'd be scratching like crazy.

Elias is on the far end of the room, sitting on a three-legged stool with his left leg propped up above his right. A guitar rests on his left leg, and he's frozen in the middle of strumming it. Meanwhile, I'm standing in the doorway, arm still raised from pushing the door open. I guess I look like an idiot.

Of course, the only thing that comes out is, "You play the guitar, man?" There are definitely more awkward things to say, but when half of you is screaming, _Get out! Shoo! Go away!_, you don't just stand there and chat. And of course, I just have to follow it up with, "Hey, that's way cool."

_Yup. The same skill that's practically turning him into a tomato is way cool. I'm sure he feels the same way, Shard. Now how long will it be before you're dismantled?_

Elias seems to get a little less stiff in the back. He exhales, which is good, because the whole time I was thinking, _Breathe, man! Breathe! It's really bad for you when you don't…and stuff!_

"Seriously, though, I can go. If you want." _Of course he wants you to go, Shard! Seriously, when do you get your sense circuit put in?_

I swear, if he's gonna get any redder, I'll be able to put him in my BLT. Which would be great. If I could actually eat BLTs, and if Elias tasted any good.

He's not saying anything. I don't want to push my luck—this guy can have a short fuse, even though right now I think he just wants to go in a corner. And implode. Or something nice like that.

Something comforting.

I put one foot behind the other. Other than loosening up a little, Elias hasn't moved at all, but I can _feel_ the red coming off his face right now. I keep backtracking until I'm out of the room, which doesn't take long, considering I hadn't gone far inside. I close the door—_There, Shard. Now was that so difficult?_

But did you really expect me to just leave it at that? I mean, come on. This is a side of the big guy (wait, he's hardly taller than I am) I didn't even know about. And I dunno how much of the guitar he knows, but whatever he did know, he put a lot of emotion into it.

Yep, Detective Shard is on the case!

Or at least, tomorrow he is. It's late, and even though _I_ don't need to sleep, everyone else does, and I can't be making noise while they do. Mostly I just set myself to standby for those hours.

I'm on my way to my room when I pass Lyco. I realize once I'm past her that I didn't even greet her, which I guess must be unusual for me or something. Either way, she gives me a funny look.

_Right. Like it's weird for me to be deep in thought. Excuse me if I'm on an investigation._

Since I've got a while to go before I reach my room, I review the facts of the case in my processors. Good thing I can't get a headache. Elias plays guitar and is pretty darn shy about it. What do I know about Elias? He's never shy, unless he snaps at one of us and has to apologize for it. But seriously? That's so rare, and so funny to watch, that I relish it whenever it happens.

But either way, he's not apologizing when he plays the guitar, so what's so embarrassing about it for him? I change tracks, and I start to think I'm making some headway. The guy never talks about himself, and it's hard to get him to put as much emotion in normal conversation with him as he was putting into his playing just now. So whatever it is that he's embarrassed about, I'm not convinced that it's just on the level of him being a good guitar player.

And like I said, he never talks about himself. Nor does he talk about his past. So, guitar playing equals connection to his past? Most likely.

Man, I'm smart! If I had a mustache I'd be twirling it.

Eventually I'd put myself on standby for the night, after making little headway after that breakthrough. After all, all I knew about Elias' past was that he was king for a while, had a family and just ditched 'em, and that he left royalty to defend the throne by other means.

I put it out of my mind after my systems are back online in the morning. After all, who'd pass up breakfast for higher-level thinking? Well, I _might_, but like I said, I can't eat, and that's the only reason why. I look at breakfast as more like a social thing.

…Breakfast _is_ a social thing, right? 'Cause I know some families kinda just eat and don't talk, but I just always thought they were crazy. I mean, why have a meal without talking? Er.

Back on topic. Either way, our gang _does_ talk during breakfast. And today, it's loud. Something funny's going on in there. I can hear Larry laughing, at least. I turn the corner into the mess hall, and listen in on the conversation.

"So this guy's reclining in this chair, looking at me with this, y'know, suspicious look or something. I dunno, but anyway, Lyco comes up behind the dude, and just freaking _nails_ him in the back of the head." Leeta's trying not to die laughing while she tells this story, and I admit, I'd like to hear the beginning of this story. "His drink goes everywhere, and I'm trying not to, like, laugh my brains out or something," she finishes. Can I get a video recording of this, please? It sounds amazing.

I pull a vacant chair out from the table, and take a seat next to Silver. He's always a little quieter than the rest of us, kinda like Elias, but a lot less…Elias-y. The dude really needs to lighten up. Join the conversation.

I put my feet up and tilt my chair back. "Why so quiet? It's alright, you can talk to the scary-looking robot." Okay, I couldn't resist teasing him at least a _little_. Can I ever?

"I've met scarier things made of metal," he replies. Excuse me? Is that an eye roll I detect? Oh. Oh, Silver. I am hurt. You have hurt me. Please don't do this to me, I'm so offended.

No, seriously, that kinda stings.

Trying to save face, I say, "That's what you think," and leer at him. Tease plus other guy teasing me equals I tease them back, right?

"Where's Elias?" he says, shrugging me off. Trying to change the subject, eh? I'll let it go this time.

Wait a minute. I look around as what Silver just asked sinks in. Sure enough, Elias isn't sitting at the table.

Oh, no. Oh, no oh no oh no. Did Elias actually do what I think he did? Just go into a corner and melt into a puddle of embarrassment? How the heck am I going to explain an entire missing Agent King to Chief?

I just have one question: How far across the continent can I get before Who knows I'm gone?

_Nobody better go looking for him._

I would say I hate the cold, but that would be a total lie, because I have no idea what cold feels like. Heh. Instead, I'm holed up in a tree in the courtyard, surrounded by snowy branches, lying in wait for the next unsuspecting sap to come outside and get ambushed.

_Please let it be warm enough to sustain life. If it were below zero right now, that would ruin my day._

My day isn't, after all, ambushed. I hear the click of a door opening, and sliding seamlessly open. However Chief designed this place, he did it well, because had my circuits not picked up that click, I'd have no idea that door existed. He hid literally every entrance.

_Just not from me._

"Gotcha!" I yell gleefully, throwing all my arsenal at the figure below me like a gatling gun.

I watch in agony as it all dissolves into powder before even coming close to Leeta.

Why.

"You. Have got! To be _kidding me!_" I yell as I struggle to stay in my tree. Leeta, looking completely axe-murderer-style happy, is shaking it like there's no tomorrow. One branch slaps me in the back, and I end up face-first in an unholy (and unhollowed) igloo of snow. Look, I know I said I've always wanted my own mountain, but I never meant I wanted to _be_ my own mountain!

I shoot to my feet. There is no way I'm going to let her win. Absolutely not. I aim a barrage of the cold stuff—that's actually _solid_ this time—right at her. That's when I get beaned in the head by a slightly larger snowball.

I fall sideways against the nearest wall. Lyco has joined the fray, but mostly I just need to know how she had the time to roll that snowball without my noticing her.

So I counter with a…quick-witted pun? "Hey! Lay off the 'ro-bod!'"

Well, at least it stopped them for a few seconds; they're frowning in distaste. Enough time for me to come up with a counterplan. I think I'll play defensively!

The next time Leeta and Lyco take the offensive, I'm ready. I figure that if I'm the world's fastest (and bestest, of course) robot, I might as well use it to my advantage. When a snowball comes my way, I bring my hand back to catch it, and fling it right back at 'em.

_Crunch._

Hey, someone else is trampling the snow. Wouldja look at that! _I bet they couldn't stand me winning this snowball war. Well, bring it on!_

_ Crunch._

Oh, wait…those footsteps are coming from outside the courtyard. If it was, say, Larry, he'd be out here already. (And spreading bad luck for all to see.) And anyway, it'd be hard to hear Silver. If he was outside, alone, he'd be flying. That has _got_ to be Elias. I spend a brief second in pure ectasy that he didn't actually disappear like I was worried he had.

Detective Shard strikes again! I really need to get a mustache so I can twirl it.

I leave the twins in the courtyard, whipping up a trail of snow, but not before building them a nice snowman bearing my resemblance. My _handsome_ resemblance, that is.

"So!" I call after Elias, who's marching towards a thick-trunked tree, probably for some solace. "What's the story with the guitar, man?"

Elias instantly goes from cool, casual, everyday Elias to taken aback Elias. He knows I remember. I guess I should start the interrogation.

"You do it for your family, right? Like the dedication in the front of a book." Never let it be said that I don't have deductive faculties. And I'm pretty smart, too.

Uh…maybe that was the wrong approach. Elias goes from taken aback Elias straight to Tomatolias. Oh, shoot. Can't make him implode of embarrassment now!

But before I can try to lighten him up, something flips a switch in him. I guess enough was enough for him, at least as far as embarrassment goes, because he starts shouting. He never shouts, unless we're on a mission, and we're far from that!

"You seem to think this is just something I can remember and not think about! You know, I had no idea half my family existed for most of my life! Brought up to be one thing and then supposed to be king when I come back to the mainland! And I can't even be king worth a hoot! Heck, I'd rather Sonic be king!

"But as for your amazing detective work, Shard, yes! It was 'like the dedication in the front of a book.' I hope you're very pleased with it, because…" He stops hissing. He's looking at me. I guess my mouth musta dropped open somewhere along the way.

All I can say is, "Wow. You sounded really royal there…" Almost instantaneously, I know it's the worst thing I could have said. _Bad Shard! Very bad Shard! You get ten lashings for that!_

"I'm no king," he says, and it's in such a tone that I can tell he's either about to cry or go for one last shouting victory lap. It's the latter. "I'm no king! And you think I wanted to be one? No way! From day one I just wanted to…I don't know!" He faces the tree, which we've reached by now, and bangs his head against it. Not hard; wearily.

I'm really worried for Elias by now, and I'm debating whether or not I should give him a hug. Seriously, if anyone ever needed a hug, it's this guy, right here. But on the other hand, he might kill me if I even come an inch closer…

_Oohyouonlyliveonceyouonlyliveoncepleasedon'ttearmyarmoff!_

I take a deep breath (or I would have, had I been able to), and lay a hand on his shoulder. He turns around sharply and gives me a glare, but doesn't tear my arm off. Thanks for that. "Look, Elias. I'm sorry your life wasn't so great. People expected you to be something you're not. That's hard. But come on. That's all in the past."

Elias turns towards me, but before I can get a good look at his face, he slumps down against the oak. "No, seriously!" I continue. "You've got us now. You're a secret agent! You can take back the throne in the shadows." Realizing that was the wrong way to go—Elias grabs his ears in frustration—I change tacks. "And anyway, you can at least talk to us about your inner demons. I mean, at least I'm in the same boat. I can't even catch a bite to eat with the guy who rebuilt me. I've got no family."

Elias lets go of his ears. Good thing, too, it was probably really bad for them. I realize, though, there's one thing I'm missing.

"And Elias? About my detective skills…" _Please, mouth, don't do anything stupid._ "I'm sorry. I was only embarrassing you, wasn't I? That wasn't…cool. At all. I got carried away."

Elias stands, faces me. I hold out my hand, hoping for a handshake. The guy tries, he really does. But instead of a handshake, he falls forward and it turns into a man hug. I guess. This is the first man hug I've actually given. I guess he did need one after all. And all that shouting musta taken a lot out of him.

Now what? Do I withdraw from the hug, or do I wait for him to? Maybe I should, but…

I'm really starting to think I should stay.


End file.
